I Just Killed A Grackle With My Truck, AMA

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 06/08/2015 at 21:37 • Filed to: Serial Bird Killer

2

39

It hit the right side of my windshield as I was going over an overpass on my way to a gentlemanly evening of cigars. As far as I’m concerned, the bastard got what he/she deserved.

#noragrets

TheHondaBro > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:40

2

Cereal first or milk?

ly2v8-Brian > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:42

1

Welcome to the club. I hit an Owl with my truck. Came out of nowhere from within a cornfield in the middle of the night.

PatBateman > TheHondaBro 06/08/2015 at 21:42

6

Cereal first. How else am I going to get full milk coverage on my Mini-Wheats?

TheHondaBro > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:43

1

PatBateman > ly2v8-Brian 06/08/2015 at 21:45

0

The largest bird I’ve ever hit was a seagull. Surprisingly, it did not break the windshield.

I've also hit birds with my bumper.

PatBateman > TheHondaBro 06/08/2015 at 21:46

1

I am a likable individual. I'm quite fond of you as well.

ly2v8-Brian > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:47

1

Exactly, this was a large bird, but my truck didn’t get a scratch.

ly2v8-Brian > TheHondaBro 06/08/2015 at 21:47

1

What barbarian does milk first anyway?

PatBateman > ly2v8-Brian 06/08/2015 at 21:48

0

WIN

TheHondaBro > ly2v8-Brian 06/08/2015 at 21:48

2

People who do not want to accept modern society.

PowderHound > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:49

0

Uhhh, what's a grackle?

Funktheduck > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:49

1

My truck ate at least 2 birds. Once in high school and once in college. The first bird was never seen again. The second had what was remaining pulled out of the grille

PatBateman > PowderHound 06/08/2015 at 21:51

1

You see that picture attached to my post?

PatBateman > Funktheduck 06/08/2015 at 21:52

0

You got a souvenir of the kill?! Lucky guy.

PowderHound > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:53

1

Figured. Thought it was a crow or something. Guess I just lump all those black birds in together. I'm a bird racist?

jvirgs drives a Subaru > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 21:55

0

I hit a flock of birds once. Bastards flew out of a bush next to a highway and I took like 4 of them out.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:02

1

Over or under?

PatBateman > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 06/08/2015 at 22:05

1

Over. What am I, a heathen?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:06

0

Good man.

PatBateman > PowderHound 06/08/2015 at 22:06

0

No, you're just a bigot.

jariten1781 > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:11

2

I mean, I’m not weeping or anything, but grackles are pretty awesome. Always used to keep peanuts in the car to feed them when I lived in Texas.

Fun fact, the competition for females is won by the male who can stretch his beak the highest. It’s pretty hillarious when you find a group of males in early spring waddling around staring at the sky.

Coty > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:16

2

birdgot.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:19

0

What kind of truck?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:24

1

You hit a seagull.

Nothing

Of

Value

Was

Lost

Funktheduck > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:24

0

Part of a wing and a leg.

Frank Grimes > PatBateman 06/08/2015 at 22:54

0

I ran over a mommy duck and her children.

PatBateman > jariten1781 06/09/2015 at 00:21

0

Also, their shit is extremely acidic.

PatBateman > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 06/09/2015 at 00:22

0

I was actually driving my wife’s Expedition. Nice vehicle.

PatBateman > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 06/09/2015 at 00:23

0

Scared the shit out of me.

PatBateman > Frank Grimes 06/09/2015 at 00:24

1

You know you're going to hell, right?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > PatBateman 06/09/2015 at 00:26

0

That shit wasn’t in vain.

PatBateman > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 06/09/2015 at 00:27

0

It made me pop a vein.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > PatBateman 06/09/2015 at 00:29

0

The popped vein didn’t pop in vain. Seagull’s might be my strange passionate hate. They will not leave me alone. I shit you not, while in PA(during the winter), I was walking through a frozen parking lot when I see them, flying over the snow.

Frank Grimes > PatBateman 06/09/2015 at 00:54

0

It was an accident. I didnt realize what I did. I was on an offramp and it happened so fast I didn’t relize what happened until I replayed what I saw in my head. My stomach sank.

orcim > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 06/09/2015 at 03:41

1

Ah ha! You’re in their “club.” Some people have Yellow Throats dogging them, Hummingbirds, Flickers, etc. You got Seagulls. Lucky you.

orcim > PowderHound 06/09/2015 at 03:44

0

They can get a little overwhelming in some areas. Missing one, not a large event. Like a shed, dead, skin cell.

orcim > PatBateman 06/09/2015 at 03:46

0

Rolled a 25-35 lb piggy under my car a couple nights ago. It managed to charge down a steep hillside that I couldn’t penetrate, even though I heard it down there.

Felt bad I couldn’t console it. Love me some young porker.

TheRealBicycleBuck > PowderHound 06/09/2015 at 07:57

0

Grackles are one of the most obnoxious-sounding birds known to mankind. Big birds with little fear, they will sit in the tree next to you and scream this unholy mechanical rattling at volumes loud enough to rival a 747 at takeoff while issuing a challenging stare that threatens to unhinge you for the rest of your life.

I’m not fond of grackles .

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > PatBateman 06/09/2015 at 15:49

0

Not bad, my dads Mountaineer is a pretty solid truck.